A whole year has passed...

7 July 2010

Our special grandson is one today. Just seen him on Skype – taking his first tottering steps and trying to carry his new little guitar, his special birthday present. His special aunt made him jelly sweets with apple juice and gelatin, and another birthday cake.

He is loved indeed, and in perfect health (and that should make anyone into a happy girl). I am so grateful to God for his health and wholeness. The experiences of this night a year ago were so horrific that I could never have believed that he would be normal, let alone so wonderfully strong and bright. It is cause for praise indeed.

How can I mark this day, I wonder?

Dale Carnegie - Where are you?

Ah, what a wonderful thing it must be to have a happy disposition! If one were for sale, there is no price I would not pay for one.

Attracting people like bees to honey, I would be a laughing positive woman, a sought after essential for every social occasion. Suicide would never enter my brain, just loving, positive thoughts of how I could make other people happy. Nothing would be too much trouble and I would do it all with a laugh and a winning smile. I would sleep peacefully in my bed, the sleep of the innocent, as I would be on good terms with everyone. How simple life would be. Anyone know where I can buy one?

I will be starting the diet tomorrow – Martha Beck’s Joy Diet, that is.

Slow, slower, slowest...

I love the old joke that goes something like "I usually try to take it one day at a time, but lately several days have attacked me at once!" Well, that was how I experienced 2009. Challenging, a shaking to the roots, busy, emotional, draining. 

And now having fallen into 2010, there is just the mundane stuff that I longed for ... and big tracts of time BUT absolutely not one ounce of motivation to do any of the things I so looked forward to. There really seems no point just now. So I am crocheting and knitting (haha, do I hear?). And I feel so productive multitasking, knitting a row or crocheting a round as my very, very slow computer loads pages at an ever-so-leisurely pace, echoing my new rythmn. (Anyone got some wool scraps for my granny-squares?) 

 Not sure how much longer I can stand it, but if you ask, sometimes you get what you ask for! And I asked for SLOW and QUIET. Going on a (spiritual - Christian) retreat in early May so maybe I will be able to at last put my new-found slowness into hearing from God - about what is next.